Dear Self,
How are you doing? How does it feel to always be the perfect example, the golden child, the one everyone leans on? Exhausting, isn’t it? Did you ever allow yourself to stop being so obedient, to finally listen to your own heart?
I know you wanted to please your mother and to obey your father. Maybe that desire made you resent them—or even yourself. I think I already know the answer.
Behind your need to appease them was a quieter truth: you wanted to make them proud because their happiness felt like your own.
You thought their happiness was yours.
Every award, every recognition, every spark of brilliance—you carried it for them as much as for yourself. Over time, that desire shifted. It was no longer just about making Mama and Papa proud; it became about doing what you love.
You learned to love learning, to chase excellence, and to become your best self. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But somewhere along the way, you grew tired. You noticed others who seemed more driven, more passionate, and more relentless. Did you feel lost? Maybe you weren’t lost—maybe you just paused, seeking reprieve from the hustle, from the grind, from everything. You turned inward, reconnecting with yourself.
You no longer need applause to feel whole.
You still make your parents proud, and you remain a role model for your sisters. But now, you’re chasing what truly makes you happy. You’ve found a treasure more important than recognition: joy.
The lesson is simple—choose happiness. Do what brings you peace. Surround yourself with people and spaces that nurture you. Maybe life feels quieter now, less glamorous than before, but that’s okay. You’ve outgrown the need for loud achievements. You’re still accomplishing things, just in silence. And one day, your art, your work, your presence will speak for you.
All you need is calm.
So, to the firstborn daughter who carried everyone’s dreams, I hope you now carry your own happiness too.
All my love,
Joy Clarice